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What the fuck, why do I fuck up everything, why am I such a fucking anxious piece of fucking shit, AHHH I hate this feeling inside me I can’t control myself I am having an anxiety attack because I am left with no solid answers and I don’t know what to do. I just wish that I could fucking feel happy, and i was almost there… I was almost there. I did for some time too, but now I am falling back down. sorry about writing this, this isn’t supposed to be read by anyone but it helps me to get my thoughts out. I am scared and lost and confused and I don’t know what to do and frankly I’ve been getting into old habbits again. this is turning into how I was in grade 11 and I don’t want to go back but I feel as if the darkenss of my past can not be escaped and it is returning, more heavily as well. I just I can’t cope. if someone could come over to my house and just hang out and help me feel better that would be amazing I just need some comfort and I need to feel like I matter to someone.

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